SAD....

I got sad news last week. A quivering voice on the phone from accross the miles stating that his brother had passed. My partner in crime as a kid, Alan, my first cousin was calling to ask if I would go and check on the house and conditions and secure his brother's  property till he could get here from Nevada. Of course I would, right?
I did.
My cousin, David had fallen and from what I saw, had bled quite a bit, and was not discovered for two to three weeks or more.
Armed with the tools they use on TV, (rubber gloves, face masks and Vicks to put in my nostrils, I braved the unknown.
 Searching for his Wallet, and valuables, so that his possesions would come to his family.
My cousin was an alcoholic, and from what I found, a very desperately out of control depressed one. Out of respect for his brother, I will not share the details. After two days work, I found his cell phone and wallet, and removed some tools that hold value, deep sea rods and reels. everything is covered in many years worth of dust. This poor soul had lived in a spot on his sofa  for what looks like years. The rest of his little place was straight out of hoarders, with a powder coating.

In my own house, as the shadows fall, and the light gets soft, the shadows, for me, appear to be dust now. I am shaken, and fearful, as if the dust is lurking there, has followed me home somehow. I hope in the coming days, this will fade. I cannot get the feeling of dust off my skin. I have washed my hands, arms and face so much, my skin is dry, which makes it feel like there is ,you guessed it, dust on me.
 Alan, I love you, and I am here for you. If this post hurts you, I will remove it. This blog is where I put my troubles to bed, you know that, so please, dont be upset with me. I am here for you when you get here, and will assist you as needed. I will heal, we will heal, and this too, shall pass